Fallen Mage Regressor

”Can you be any louder?”

”This isn’t really my area of expertise.”

”You’re moving like one of those airships. Slow, loud, and horribly over-engineered.”

”What a wonderful metaphor.”

Hemp had decided that the way they were going to get to Cornelias’s neighborhood was via the alleyways and the back roads. While here, she’d taken it upon herself to teach Mal the ”art of sneaking.” Mal knew some of the basics because she taught him in the first timeline, but it had never really been something he specialized in.

His feet made a particularly loud click against the stone and Hemp stomped the ground.

”If you pull that off in the actual theft,” she shouted. ”I’m running! You’re on your own!”

Mal tossed his hands up into the air. ”Do you have any actual advice to give me, or are you just going to keep on berating me?”

”First, stop rushing!” Hemp pinched the bridge of her nose. ”Seriously, slow down. We’re not in a rush.”

Mal got back onto the balls of his feet and slowly stepped forward. It was nearly unhearable, even against the hard stone road.

”Better,” Hemp said. ”But it still needs work.”

Mal looked around himself. They were still inside of a small alley, and he had no idea where they were. ”Are we almost there?”

”Yeah, yeah. Don’t get your panties in a twist.”

Mal raised an eyebrow. She stuffed her fist down her throat and screamed into it.

After that, she pulled out her hand and grunted. ”What I meant to say was don’t be so worried.”

”It’s not like I’m a child,” Mal said. ”You don’t have to self-censor.”

”That’s not the point, you idiot, just—” She shook her head. ”Let’s get going.”

Hemp didn’t bother to disguise her steps, instead walking forward like she owned the entire alley. Mal followed behind her. They kept on moving until they came across a alley wall.

Hemp ran up and jumped to the side. Her foot met the stone wall and her toes dug into a single brick that was slightly jutting out. She used that to bounce up and clear the obstacle in a single leap.

Mal squinted at the brick. ”I’m not going to be able to do that.”

A rope came tumbling down the wall.

”Climb up, dumbass!”

Mal walked over to the rope and tested it with a tug. She’d probably tied it down on the other end.

He pulled himself up using the rope and got onto the other side. He fell to the ground with a thud, bending his knees to absorb the impact. She stared at him with a distinctly unimpressed expression.

”Hit the gym once in a while,” she said.

”I think it has less to do with my personal fitness and more to do with the fact that you have the dexterity of a cat.”

”Or maybe you aren’t practicing enough. Ever thought of that?”

Mal snorted.

”I’ll keep that in mind.”

They’d landed on what seemed to be a forest. Trees went off in every direction.

”The rich assholes who Cornelias lives with don’t want to be right next to the urbanites,” Hemp said. ”Too lower class. So they have an entire forest surrounding their district.”

”That’s kind of ludicrous,” Mal said.

”That’s what happens when you have more money than God,” she said.

Mal hummed. He’d never had too much of a thirst for monetary resources per se. It was more about what money could do. He didn’t quite understand those who made it their life’s goal to just pursue more and more wealth.

”Come on, let’s get going.” Hemp started walking. ”I’ll tell you when we need to stop making noise.”

Mal followed behind her. There were still dead leaves along the ground and the trees had only just started to gain back their leaves.

”Early spring,” Mal muttered. ”I hadn’t realized it, but it is a little bit unusual to have it at this time, isn’t it?”

”I wouldn’t know. Been in the city my entire life,” she said.

”Is that so?” Mal asked.

”Yep.”

She kicked at a pebble buried in the dirt and it tumbled along the ground. ”I’ve always wanted to get out of this shithole, but I never had the money for it.” She froze and groaned into the air. ”I meant... this bad place.”

”Are you saving up for it, at least?”

”What, leaving?” She shrugged. ”A little bit here and there, but most of my cash goes into getting fed.” She cast an eye back at him. ”Unlike you prissy nobles, I actually have to work for my food.”

”Well, that’s understandable, I suppose.”

Her eye remained on his face for a little bit longer. Hemp’s eyebrows furrowed together and there was a small shake of her head.

”Are you like this with most people, or just me?” she asked.

”Like what?”

”I think that most people would find the way I talk to be a little bit... you know.” She reached up and scratched her cheek. ”Rough? Not just the language, but the insults.”

”Ah, well—”

How was Mal supposed to explain that he’d had years of experience talking to her and knew that he shouldn’t take it personally?

”Let’s just say that I’ve met someone a lot like you. Built up an immunity.”

She looked back at him, eyes wide. ”Really? Someone like me?” A small grin appeared on her face. ”Well, she’s probably super cool, right?”

Mal’s lips twitched. ”The coolest.”

Hemp opened her mouth to say something else, then stopped. Her eyes drifted back toward where she was walking.

”We’re almost there.” Her voice lowered. ”Keep it down, and follow my lead.”

She dropped into a crouch. Her eyes traced the ground and she stepped forward, avoiding the leaves and scarcely making a sound. Mal followed her movements, down into a squat. Obviously, he was worse at it than Hemp, but the noises were easily dismissible as nothing more than an animal.

Within a few minutes, they reached another wall.

”The entire district is surrounded with this thing,” she said.

”Not a big deal, but a little bit annoying.”

”Why is that?”

She approached the wall and reached a hand up. Her fingers fitted into the tiniest of crevices and she pulled her whole body up. Mal watched in amazement as she maneuvered her way up to the top. Once there, she threw a rope down, then tied it off to a post at the top.

Taking this as a cue, Mal hauled himself up one step at a time. In the same moment, Hemp set up another rope, then rapelled down to the other side.

Mal followed after her, and the two were in the backyard.

”Down!”

Hemp grabbed his collar and shoved him to the ground. A moment later, a spotlight combed overhead and then disappeared. Mal glanced off to where it was coming from. In the yard just adjacent to the one they were in, a tin golem with a spotlight attached to its head turned in a slow circle. It then went back around and the spotlight completely disappeared.

”Those are the sentries, aren’t they?” Mal said.

Hemp nodded, her chin digging into the dirt. ”You got it.”

She gestured at the house. ”We’re gonna head in there. Go on my mark.”

She waited in the dirt, completely still. Mal felt his heart thump in his chest. ”Now!”

She darted forward toward the door and pulled out a set of tools from her sleeve. A long lockpick and a pin of some sort? They slipped into the lock of the door and her eyebrows scrunched together. Her tongue poked out and all that could be heard was the sound of metal clicking against metal.

A loud click noise, louder than the others, echoed off from the lock.

She pulled on the door and opened it, then rushed inside. Mal followed behind her.

She shut it, then breathed a sigh of relief.

”Man, I hate sentries,” she muttered.

She cast a look at Mal. ”Not half bad for a rookie, too.”

”I’ll take that compliment,” Mal said.

”Yeah, don’t let your head get too full. That was the easy part,” she said.

She walked over to the interior of the house.

”Let’s get these floorboards ripped out,” she said.

”We’re going to put them back after the fact, of course. Don’t want to leave any traces if we can avoid it.”

The inside of the house was dark to the point where Mal couldn’t see a thing. He had no idea what Hemp was talking about. ”Can we get some light in here, first?” Mal asked.

”What, you can’t see—”

Her voice hitched. ”Right, yeah. I have a magic jewel in my pocket.”

There was a sound of rifling through clothing, then a click. The smell of mana rushed into Mal’s nose.

The room lit up from Hemp stood in the center of the light, her hand wrapped around a red crystal.

The room itself was nothing special... aside from the high quality leather furniture, the crystal table, and the potted plants that Mal was pretty sure should have died ages ago given how nobody was living here.

”They’re fake,” Hemp said. ”They make them out of artificial material and then put them in here to spruce the place up.”

”They have enough money for this, but they didn’t bother to put in any kind of basic security system?”

”They do have a security system.” Hemp pointed at the door. ”That lock. That I just picked.”

”It’s not a particularly good security system.”

”Actually, if I had messed up there, it would have triggered a magical alarm that would have been sent up to the guard station at the end of the road, at which point we all would have been arrested. It’s not as bad as it seems.” She winked. ”I’m just better.”

Mal had to stop himself from chuckling. She was arrogant, but she probably deserved her pride in this particular skill set.

She gestured with her chin at the carpet. ”Get to work. Move it out of the way, and then let’s get it open.”

Mal didn’t object and pulled the table out of the way, then the carpet. Hemp pulled out a small saw from her belt and cut along the gap between the floorboards. She went the entire length of the room, then pulled it out. She repeated this two times until they had a gap big enough for them to head into.

Underneath the floorboard was wooden joist. Beneath that was a layer of stone.

Hemp pulled out the golden mechanical magical object she’d shown to him earlier. She stood over the gap, leg on each side, and hand with object pointed down. The drill lit up with a red light and mana twisted out of it and into the dirt roughly in the shape of a spiral vortex. Mal was able to see this because of his mana sensitivity—he could see the way it was spinning in circles. He could also see that it was enormously bright and his eyes were hurting.

He squinted and looked away.

The drill went further into the stone at rapid speeds. It turned off with a click from Hemp, and she jumped down into the hole. Mal heard it click back to life and he knew that she’d activated it underground.

Mal walked over to the hole, then clambered his way down. He hit the dirt on his rear and grunted from the pain. Up ahead, the light of Hemp’s jewel along with the drill indicated where he was supposed to go. He followed behind her for a good 30 seconds before she stopped.

She pointed the drill upward and Mal covered his ears and shut his eyes. The drill roared to life and went directly upward. She clambered her way up on the wall, still keeping the drill pointed.

Before long, they came up against the wooden joist that supported the floor. She came up underneath the joist and stopped the drill. Her saw came out and she maneuvered it between the joist and sawed away at the floorboard. With a grunt, she punched upward and the floorboard flew into the air. She did that for two others, then clambered up.

Mal followed behind her and bumped his head against porcelain.

He’d hit his head on the toilet.

Hemp picked up a glass container with a cork on it. ”Look at this flowery guy? He has perfume. Why would he have perfume? He’s supposed to be a priest.”

”Technically he’s a Theologue.”

”I know that!”

She set the glass back down onto the sink counter with a bit more force than necessary, causing it to click loudly against the porcelain. She froze and went completely still, not even a breath escaping her.

”Hemp?” he said.

Hemp’s shoulders slowly relaxed. She shook her head. ”Nothing. It just smelled like... nothing.”

Mal could guess what it was that she was thinking of. A small part of him regretted bringing her to this place given the past history she seemed to have with Cornelias... but it was already too late to back out. Nothing to do but move forward.

Hemp pushed the door open. As expected, the house was completely dark. On the windows outside, Mal saw the sentries’ lights through the curtain. Hemp dropped into a crouch and underneath the window. Mal did the same.

”It’s on the second story,” she whispered. ”Follow my lead.”

She took one slow crouched step after another until they arrived at the stairs. Each and every movement was at the pace of a snail. Mal found himself internally screaming for her to hurry, but he knew that she was the expert. Eventually, they finally reached the top where there was a door with a lock at the end of a hallway.

She stopped at the edge of the staircase.

”You’re up, buddy.”

She opened her mouth and then Mal cut her off.

”No, I see what it is,” he said.

She shot him a dirty look. ”You’ve never done this kind of thing before, what are you talking about—?”

”There’s a grid,” Mal said. ”And I’m betting that if we touch it, it’ll trigger some sort of alarm.”

She looked back at him in shock. ”How did you know? Did you do research?”

Mal stared at the lines of mana floating through the air.

”Let’s just say that I have an eye for these sorts of things,” he muttered. He looked back at her. ”So, how do I disable it?”

Her expression had shifted into one of surprise. She shook her head.

”Right,” she said. ”Okay, so what you need to do is open a hole in the flowing lines of mana while still preserving their momentum. From what I understand, the process involves identifying how much mana is supposed to go into the receivers and then replicating that using a crystal as a battery.”

She reached into her pockets and pulled out dozens of small mana crystals. ”Think you’re up for it?”

Mal took the crystals out of her hand. ”No problem.”

”Hey, don’t get overconfident. You have to be absolutely sure that it’s the same amount of mana flowing into the receivers. Usually, for me, I’d have to rent out highly expensive equipment for this, so—”

Mal squinted at the flowing mana lines. ”No, I think I’ve got it.”

”What?”

He scratched a rune into one of the crystals and set it on top of one of the runes lining the hallway entrance.

Hemp’s breath caught and her legs tensed like she was about to make a run for it.

The crystal flickered, then lit up like the sun.